Within 24 hours of me posting on an NLP newsgroup, about me and Billy doing a live training at the mall, I’ve received 3 emails telling me what I did with Billy was a simple submodality change.

“Bull.  If you think that you don’t have a clue. I NEVER do submodality work, because submodality changes simply do not work.”

Submodality changes don’t work.  Not in the REAL WORLD. Here’s why.

First a quick definition or two.  Your brain has 3 major modalities, the ways thought is represented.

The three major modalites are Visual, what you see…. Auditory, what you hear…. And Kinesthetic, what you feelphysically.

Submodalities are the specifics of HOW one of those is specifically represented in your thinking.

Visual for example can be a movie or a still image, color or black and white, near or far, etc.

The theory of submodality change is that when you find out what “Billy” is currently doing, with his images, and you ask him to change them, like a picture into a movie, you’ will change his life.

Bull. If it worked that way we would all be perfect in the next ten minutes.

Think about this and notice….

Because if I go in and change Billy’s still images into movies he will demonstrate a change in his body, and for a very short time in his behavior.

In other words, it will look good on stage.

But it never seems to stick.

I’ve said this for YEARS, and almost nobody gets this…..

“When a submodality of yours changes, like still images into movies, the submodality change stays only stay changed if  THE WAY YOU PERCEIVE YOU HAS CHANGED. “

In other words, if some nlp master does a submodality change on you, asking you to change your still images into movies, you will feel good for a short time.  You maybe even do something outrageous on stage.  But your new found “movies” will revert back to still images in a very short time, and certainly under stress.

Want to know what really happened to Billy during our live training at the mall?

I didn’t do a bit of submodality change.

Instead I did something very simple and very powerful.

I asked  Billy questions that enabled him to notice what held his images in place.

Read that again Buckwheat.

I did not ask him to change it from a still image into a movie. That would be a waste of his money, and my time.

What I did was I helped him notice his bs – the bs that made his movies into still images. That took HOURS….. and tons of tiny steps.  And suddenly it became clear to him the BS that he had to let go of – so that he could more fully live – and so his mind could process reality in BOTH still images and in movies.

“That is what the nlp masters discovered and did back in the old days.  So why don’t they teach it?  It took me the better part of 10 years to get good at at the basics of this.  You can’t just get it in a 5 day work shop with a hundred other people.  You’ve got to get it either one on one or in small groups.  And you’ve got to invest TIME in learning how to notice what matters, and to learn how to discard what doesn’t matter at all.”

So, wake up buckwheat.

Just to repeat, asking them to make the picture bigger, brighter, into a movie, and then to step into it is great for DEMONSTRATING ON STAGE what happens when a clients submodalites shift.

Asking them to make the shifts, without getting them to notice what makes them mess it up in the first place is pointless.

And it never seems to last.

And it’s why most NLP and Neuro Lingustic Programming practitioners suck.

So wake up buckwheat. If you want to do something useful, instead of kicking around the same old dead horse, contact me for some private training or coaching. If you want to waste time, take yet another NLP seminar. Nuff said. Whoo yah!

Mr Twenty Twenty

Do some kick ass coaching!

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.

James started connecting naturally.

James started connecting easily.

James started connecting enjoyably.

8 weeks earlier, James emailed me.  He was pissed.  He was angry.  He felt all alone, that he had been gyped, he felt that nobody on earth understood him.

Except for me.

He had been reading articles here, on NLP LIVE for a few weeks.  The night he emailed me he had been reading for over an hour.    It was then, that it hit him.

“I don’t need more techniques methods or secrets, what I need is someone like you to, just do what you do.  I’ve heard you on your radio show, I’ve listened to your recordings, I’ve heard how you so naturally connect with people.  I need you to connect with me and help me get what I’ve been missing.  Would you please help me?  I need to connect with people, and I don’t want to keep trying to use rapport methods.”

So we did a total of 10 weeks of coaching.  Helping him “do what I do”.

Our calls were fun, challenging, and very unique.  They were NOT about rapport techniques or rapport methods.

We did 10 weeks of rapport coaching, helping him notice when he did just 2 things.

1. Notice when he was losing peoples interest and attention.
2. Notice when he left them behind, and went into his own little trance world.

I trained him how to NOTICE and USE ATTENTION, because:

All people want is attention – from you.

If you don’t know how to NOTICE BOTH your attention and their attention, then you are probably one of those people who are frustrated, and wondering why you still can’t connect with people.

Let me know if this makes sense, and if you want in.

Email:  2020@exhostage.com

James, I thank you for asking me to do this kind of work with you.  I thank you for having the guts to reach out, to keep showing up for our calls, and for investing in you.