By September 8, 2010 0 Comments Read More →

Social Proof – Step by Step and Avoiding The Dark Side

Let’s face it.   No matter how much we want to pretend or assert we are lone pioneers, human beings are primarily pack animals.  If we see the pack is running toward something or someone, we tend to start running with them.

This is why social proof is so important to be aware of and something worth generating naturally and responsibly.   Below is a great way to do that – and how not to do that.

Paying pretty women to be seen with me.

A phone coaching client of mine liked the idea of paying attractive ladies to enjoy coffee with him at a local coffee shop.  He thought that being seen with attractive ladies would help him be more attractive to other attractive ladies who frequented the place.   He got that idea from one of the many teen movies where the geeky guy pays the pretty girl to date him.

Of course, I understood where he was coming from, and at the end of our session we had helped him grow into a much better and much more powerful idea.

Instead of paying pretty women to be seen with him, we decided to help him bring the power home – by eliminating the tension and pressure he felt when it came to women.

“Paying women to be seen with you can’t help but backfire, because you still aren’t bringing the power home.  Learning how to simply walk up to an attractive woman – after dealing with his loopy programming that was holding him back – made more sense and brought the power home.”

So we helped him develop some great alternatives to his old programming during a few training calls, and we taught him to notice and eliminate THE PRESSURE FACTOR.

“Every time he approached an attractive lady, his programming was making it about getting her number or making it about being seen with someone attractive.  His programming was just putting unnatural pressure on both him and her.”

He never thought about or noticed THE PRESSURE FACTOR or how it made connecting with women so hard.   During our calls, he learned something very valuable.   Not every encounter with a woman (or a prospect) needs to be directed toward an outcome.  Sometimes just connecting with the human “on the other end” is what matters most.  Connecting without THE PRESSURE FACTOR opens the door to unlimited possibilities.

“With all this in mind, he started being seen naturally in the company of attractive women, because he stopped making every encounter outcomes based – and he simply started allowing himself and them to enjoy each other’s company.  He eliminated THE PRESSURE FACTOR.”

Not only did he start being seen with lots of the local attractive women most guys wouldn’t walk up to, they started introducing him to their friends because he was so easy to naturally be with.  (Just 3 coaching sessions made this shift possible.  Think about how cool that is for him.)

“So what does this have to do with social proof?  Everything.  Social proof NATURALLY grows for you, once you work out THE PRESSURE FACTOR – once it is easy for people to be with you.”

Having an outcome in mind is great – when you are taking action on a specific goal.   Having an outcome in mind that induces THE PRESSURE FACTOR, tends to make it very hard to get to know people, make or keep friends, or naturally develop “social proof”.

Have fun, and go get some of the Almost Free NLP.  Pay what you want, take all you need.

Have an amazing day!

Mr Twenty Twenty

Posted in: Women

About the Author:

Mr Twenty Twenty - "The Weird Obtuse NLP Guru". His adventure in NLP began as a Police Interrogator back in 1988. As a prison guard, taken hostage in the Camp Hill Prison Riots in 1989, diagnosed with PTSD, he immersed himself into NLP, Native Wisdom Healing - Shamanic training, and Wilderness Survival - to heal himself of the effects of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - effectively taking his life back and becoming a world known authority. His advancements in Subjective Modeling, and using NLP to "undesign" your brain and how to use NLP to...